The Twits by Roald Dahl
Mr Twit is one of those hairy faced men that is fat, grumpy hairy, and old- well you know what I mean.
Mr Twits beard is one of the most disgusting things that I have ever seen. It's filled with food like corn flakes, stilton cheese and even tinned sardines- and worst of all- that food has gone rotten!
I think Mrs Twit is uglier than Mr Twit. I think she has more hair than him too. She gets uglier each year, and is the ugliest person on earth- if she was real. She has a glass eye that always points the other way.
The Glass Eye
Mrs Twit pranks Mr Twit and says she has eyes watching him all over the house. She puts her glass eye in hisglass of beer and in the last drip he sees the glass eye. He jumps and Mrs Twit yells out, “I told you I have eyes watching you!”
Mr Twit pranked Mrs Twit back for the glass eye incident. He stole a frog from the lake and at night he slipped the frog down Mrs Twit’s sheets. It crawled up and went on her face. She screamed and yelled at Mr Twit to kill it.
The Wormy Spaghetti
Mrs Twit got Mr Twit back for pranking her with the frog. She went to the garden and collected some worms. She put them in Mr Twit’s spaghetti. She covered them in tomato sauce and then Mr Twit asked why his spaghetti was wiggly and Mrs Twit said it was the newest sort of spaghetti. When he finished it all she told him that he was eating worms. The look on his face was really funny.
The Funny Walking Stick
Mr Twit pranks Mrs Twit back again for making him eat worms. He went out and got a stick from the forest, the same length as her walking stick. Each night he cut off a bit of the stick and glued it onto the bottom of her stick. She thought the stick was growing, but Mr Twit said that she was shrinking.
Mrs Twit has the Shrinks
Mr Twit continues to prank Mrs Twit by adding bits of wood to the bottom of Mrs Twits chair. Mr Twit tells Mrs Twit she has the shrinks and says she has 10 - 11 days until she completely shrinks and she ends up as a bundle of old clothes and a pair of shoes. Mr Twit tells her there’s only one cure for the shrinks and it is getting stretched.
Mrs Twit Gets a Stretching
Mr Twit leads Mrs Twit to the back yard and then he has a thing on the ground that has string attached to it. He ties balloons to her hair and hand. He asks if she is stretching and she says yes. Then he gets scissors and chops the bottom rope. She goes up into the sky.
Mrs Twit Goes Ballooning Up
Mrs Twit goes up and up and Mr Twit pretends to help her. Mrs Twit looks up and sees the balloons and he said those balloons in the sky look marvellous. Mr Twit is excited because he thinks that she is gone for ever.
Mrs Twit Goes Ballooning Down
Mrs Twit bites through some of the strings that are attached to the balloons and very slowly floats down.
Mr Twit Gets a Horrid Shock
Mrs Twit comes back down and she yells at him, “Here I come you grizzly old grunion!” and she lands on him.
The House the Tree and the Monkey Cage
There is a picture of Mr and Mrs Twit’s house and garden of weeds and their prized possession- their dead tree.
Hang Tight Sticky Glue
Mr Twit is a good hunter but a dirty one. His method is to cover the dead tree in super glue and when the birds land on the branches they get stuck. The next morning Mr Twit goes to the tree and kills the birds and takes them to Mrs Twit to make his bird pie.
Four Sticky Little Boys
The next day Mr Twit got out of bed to go and get the birds for the pie BUT there were four little boys stuck in the tree. They all got scared because they thought that Mr Twit was going to bully them, so they took their pants off and ran off.
The Great Upside Down Monkey Circus
Mr and Mrs Twit had both worked in a circus as monkey trainers. The monkeys could do back flips and all sorts of tricks but they weren't just any sort of monkey, they were upside down monkeys.
The Roly-Poly Bird To The Rescue
The Roly-Poly bird came to the rescue. It was on holiday and it saw its old friends- the upside down monkeys. The monkeys told the Roly-Poly bird to worn the other birds not to land on the tree.
No Bird Pie For Mr Twit
When Mr Twit went to get the birds there were none on the tree, they were all on the monkey cage. They all sat there and laughed at him.
Still No Bird Pie For Mr Twit
Mr Twit covered the monkey cage in super glue but the roly-poly bird child around the sky spreading the word about Mr Twit and the new glue trick.
Mr and Mr Twit Go Off To Buy Guns
Mr Twit has a idea to go and buy a gun so he could get birds for his bird pie.
Muggle-Wump Has an Idea
Mr and Mrs Twit are out so Muggle-Wump calls the Roly-Poly bird to get the key for the monkey cage so they could escape. When the monkeys escape they go in the house and get buckets and fill them with super sticky glue.
The Great Glue Painting Begins
The Roly-Poly bird calls all the other birds to help with the sneaky operation.
The Carpet Goes on the Ceiling
Muggle-Wump was running around like a mad umpalumpa yelling to peel the rug. It would have been hard with all the tables and chairs on it.
The Furniture Goes Up
Every monkey and the birds all worked together and they pulled it off. It was hard for them because they had to put all the things in the right place. After that the Roly-Poly bird went to watch out for Mr and Mrs Twit.
The Ravens Swoop Over
The Roly-Poly bird swoops back to the house yelling to the other birds and monkeys that Mr and Mrs Twit were coming back to the house. The birds got back on the roof and the monkeys got back in their cage. When Mr and Mrs Twit came back to the house, two cheeky birds swoop over the two heads and yell, “Paint brush!” and the other birds drop some glue on the Twits heads.
The Twits Are Turned Upside Down
The Twits walked into the house and as they walked into the living room Mr Twit said, “We are upside down, look up!”
The Monkey Escape
The Roly-Poly bird said to Muggle-Wump that they could live with him and they would like the house so they might stay with him.
The Twits Get the Shins / the last chapter
Mrs Twit yelled “I'm going to be stuck here forever!” Then Mr Twit said, “You might but I won’t!” He tried and tried but the ugly couple were stuck there forever- until one day Mr Twit’s head began to shrink and then the same thing happened to Mrs Twit until there was nothing but some old pairs of shoes and some old clothing.
I think that this book was funny and yuck because of the pictures.